Evening Comics Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

Late-night's prominent entertainers spent their evening mocking former President Donald Trump's newly launched visa program, called the "gold card," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils everything he comes into contact with."

Colbert's target was the new initiative that enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, with a "premium" tier for $5 million. The program's page guarantees processing "in record time."

"One message here to affluent foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "extract cash" from businesses wanting to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"Unprecedented background check the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow wealthy foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping poll numbers during financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a effort to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted strangely to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.